Transcription

0:07
Today, we are going to talk about anxiety in high functioning women.

0:12
Are you one of those women who constantly has anxiety and you are probably successful in your business or at work?

0:20
But this anxiety is creeping up in you in every area of your life.

0:27
So let’s welcome our expert today who is Colette Jones.

0:31
She is L CS W is a private practice owner and therapist licensed in the State of New York that specializes in working with teens and adults struggling with perfectionism and high functioning anxiety.

0:48
Colette is proficient in using C BT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness based techniques to help clients develop tools to be able to leave behind constant stress, anxiety, panic and overwhelm.

1:05
So welcome to the show colette.

1:08
Thank you.

1:08
Therefore, I’m so excited to be here.

1:11
Colette.

1:12
You have been an expert in helping high functioning women, especially with anxiety.

1:17
So how do you think women often push through their anxiety to meet deadlines?

1:23
Can you share a real life story of a woman who dared to put her mental held first without letting her career take a hit.

1:30
So I worked with a woman who was just going through a divorce and had two Children and had just graduated a master’s program and got a brand new job all at the same time.

1:46
And it was quite stressful and she was trying very hard to keep up with like all the demands of that.

1:51
It was also the first time that she was gonna be, you know, the boss or, or managing a team of people and, and I have to say it, it really comes down to and I know it sounds counterintuitive.

2:03
but thinking about yourself and what works best for you and, and things that you want to do, it actually is like thinking less about all those shoulds and those have tos and those need tos, but like thinking about yourself and, and figuring that out.

2:20
So then those other things can be complementary to that and that it doesn’t feel so hard to do all those other things that are responsibilities.

2:29
So maybe tell us and tell our listeners a little bit about what does that even mean?

2:33
What, what is high functioning women or, you know, a woman who’s high functioning and she has anxiety.

2:39
What does that all mean?

2:41
So I think high functioning anxiety is, is funny because some people don’t even realize they have it because it can kind of happen in, in very insidious ways.

2:51
So kind of just like ruminating at night, like having it be really hard to fall asleep.

2:57
Just thinking about all the things that you have to do the next day.

3:00
What I like to call crisis planning.

3:02
So like running through a bunch of scenarios in your head over and over again, trying to figure out how you’re gonna have like, prepare how to handle crisis.

3:11
, that may or may not come.

3:14
Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t, feeling really guilty letting people down.

3:22
It being, feeling like you have to control and it’s hard to delegate because you don’t trust other people to do things for you.

3:32
Fear of, you know, failing and getting things wrong or making a mistake.

3:37
So it is just things that kind of, we all have like pieces of.

3:42
but just that you start to feel like it’s kind of impairing your functioning and kind of taking over.

3:47
Interesting.

3:49
I think I was a woman like that before I was.

3:54
Oh yeah, that makes that makes total sense.

3:56
Yeah, like always, you know, thinking before going to sleep, I just couldn’t, you know, I’m planning and I’m always controlling my outcomes and I’m controlling the people around me and I’m anxious about every little thing makes total sense.

4:09
Ok?

4:10
I’m sure there’s so many women who feel that.

4:12
What about, I know that feeling isolated because you think you should have it all together is too common.

4:19
Can you tell us about anyone or maybe you who broke, broke free from this isolation and found her tribe and proving that vulnerability is a strength.

4:30
Well, I think when people, it, it is very isolating, right?

4:34
Because a lot of the people I work with,, they don’t want to admit to other people.

4:41
Right?

4:41
Like there’s shame in feeling like you don’t have it all together or there’s shame in admitting that you might need help.

4:49
So, so to me that is the first thing like when these women even reach out, to me like to ask for help.

4:59
That’s like the biggest thing that they could ever do.

5:03
You know, because it, a lot of it again, a Hallmark is trying to do everything yourself and with high achieving people, that is a strength like you’re, you were able to push through very often for a very long time and you’re good problem solvers.

5:17
And I think a lot of mental health is problem solving your way through it and figuring out what is a trigger for you, what is a barrier, what is helpful?

5:27
So that is a strength and I think very often that’s how people have gone on.

5:30
So, so long without asking for help because that is something they’re good at is problem solving their way through it.

5:37
But sometimes they just hit, hit a wall and they realize that it’s just they’re stuck and something isn’t changing.

5:44
And that’s usually kind of what I think is the biggest threat is when they just first tell somebody, anybody and reach out for help.

5:53
And what about, like, perfectionism?

5:55
Do you feel like these women, they even suffer from being perfect while they are achieving a lot of things in their lives?

6:04
Yeah.

6:04
So perfectionism is kind of a, a different side of the same coin.

6:10
It’s, it is, it’s the expectation you have for yourself.

6:13
And I think very often,, when I work with people it’s, it’s assessing whether those expectations need to be there.

6:21
Right?

6:22
So do I have to like, yes, there’s deadlines you have to hit and that is important and at a job that is a thing you have to do.

6:31
But do I have to say yes to every single thing that somebody asks me to do.

6:37
Am I allowed to ever take a sick day if like, I feel like my arm’s falling up, you know, like, I worked with somebody the other day and they just got a tooth extracted and they were like, yeah, I went right back to work but I had to leave at like noon because I wasn’t feeling well and I was like, you have sick days, right?

6:55
Like that’s, that’s what they’re for.

6:57
And they were like, well, I wasn’t like sick and I’m like, well, you’re on meds because you have a lot of pain, you know.

7:04
So, so I think it’s assessing what your expectation is and also the expectations of others because sometimes it is internal and that’s something to take a look at.

7:15
But there also is the other side of it where sometimes I have worked with women who really are in a workplace that is not supportive of mental health and is not allowed for that and is not supportive and not helpful and and can be kind of nasty and have really crazy expectations.

7:33
So it is important to identify where that is coming from because it also could be reality that your boss has some crazy unreasonable expectation as well.

7:43
Interesting.

7:44
So let’s talk about why do women even have this anxiety in the first place?

7:52
Like why do women especially in roles that are superior, superior or senior roles?

7:57
And there’s executives and they’re, they’re basically functioning well in society.

8:03
But deep down, I personally feel that they are shattering also at the same time, right?

8:10
They are literally breaking a lot of unknown territory within themselves that they have never found and they feel, oh I gotta achieve this, I gotta be the mother but I gotta be the girlfriend and I got, you know, like, and I know that because I was that person maybe just a few months ago, up to up to like six months ago.

8:29
Yeah, I’m like, damn, I was a high functioning woman with anxiety but in the last six months, I’m like, screw this.

8:38
I don’t want to be this woman anymore.

8:40
I wanna be the other side like the you know, the other side, who can hone on my feminist, who can just be like, all right, it doesn’t have to happen today.

8:48
It can wait.

8:49
So tell me why do we have this quality or not?

8:55
You know, not a good quality but this anxiety in the first place.

8:59
Where does it stem from?

9:01
Well, I mean, it can be different for different people, right?

9:03
So like it could be family embedded, it could be, it’s kind of it, of course, usually can come down to how you grow up.

9:09
It also can come from just internally like a desire to strive for and, and have really high goals for yourself, but even just like socially, culturally embedded, you know, like we’re bred to have to do it all and take care of kids and work and clean the house and, you know, like being able to do everything is something that I think is, is very much expected and, and not always praised maybe a little bit more now but or maybe not so much.

9:39
But it is just something I think it’s just an insidious message, you know, that like if we don’t do it, who will?

9:47
Like I said, especially in the situation with the, the client that I had, that was going through a divorce, she had to, she had to take care of her Children.

9:56
there wasn’t any help from their father.

9:59
You know, so I, I think very often I speak to them and I, I say, well, how did, how did it happen that you do this and this and this?

10:07
And they say, well, if I don’t, they’re not gonna clean, they’re not gonna do the dishes, they’re not gonna pick up this person and then there’s just kind of an assessment of, ok.

10:16
Does that have to be the situation that we’re in?

10:20
Which can also be a big scary conversation too?

10:23
Yeah, makes sense.

10:24
So tell us, you know, let’s explore that a little bit more because I’m sure our women listeners, you know, they have gone through a period, a period, including me in our lives where we feel like we want to do everything.

10:37
And let’s say there is this woman she’s getting divorced or is divorced and she has to do everything is what she’s thinking.

10:45
How can we help her and tell her, hey, here are the first steps that you don’t have to do it all.

10:52
So what message would you tell that woman who feels and thinks she needs to do everything and no one else is there to help me?

11:00
What do we tell her?

11:03
The first thing that I generally ask them is, what do they want, what do they want their life to look like?

11:10
What would they prefer?

11:12
Because very often that’s not even part of the equation, right?

11:15
So like I ask people, they’re like, oh, I have this decision to make I have to figure out like, what I’m gonna do and they’ll say, like, well, because if my family or for my job or money or whatever and, and I say, well, what do you want to do?

11:30
And they never occurred to them that could even possibly play a role in the decision making, or I’ll say, like, it sounds like that’s what you wanna do.

11:41
Why, what, what, what is making you question it?

11:44
And there’s all these other caveats of like, oh, well, it could impact this person this way or this person this other way.

11:51
which is, which are all factors to be considered.

11:54
But generally, I think the first step is to ask like, what, where do you see yourself?

11:58
What is it that we’re working towards?

12:01
That makes total sense because it’s very similar to how I coach my clients.

12:05
And if they have this issue, I will say, all right, what do you truly want?

12:10
And let’s get check in with your feelings?

12:12
What feels good if they are saying, oh, I wanna travel.

12:15
All right.

12:15
Which place sounds good to you?

12:17
You know, then I’ll tell them which.

12:18
So which place sounds good.

12:20
California or Hawaii.

12:21
They’re like Hawaii, it feels good, it feels good.

12:23
All right.

12:23
That’s the steps we need to take.

12:25
They’re like, oh, but I can’t because, and then they have all these self limitations.

12:30
That sounds very good.

12:31
So what you’re basically saying that the woman should go and check in with herself and figure out what does she want, right?

12:39
Where are we going and why do we feel like there’s a limitation on that?

12:44
And, and maybe there is, maybe there isn’t.

12:46
But yeah, at least figuring out where we’re going, you know, like we feel stressed and we feel overwhelmed and, and what is it that we want to do?

12:55
I know, I, I used to and this is not a high functioning woman.

12:58
It is a very beautiful, lovely 18 year old I used to work with, I used to work in a high school and I had a client who I’ve been working with for a very long time and she was so overwhelmed and so stressed, she did not know what she wanted to do for her future, which by the way, you’re 18, who does like that, that pressure is crazy and that’s a whole other thing I could talk about.

13:21
And I was like, well, what do you want to do?

13:23
And she was like, I wanna just like travel like I wanna, I like, I don’t feel like I wanna go to school right away.

13:29
Like I feel like I wanna just travel.

13:30
And I said, why can’t you?

13:33
And she was like, because I have to go to college and I was like, and I’d spoken to her mom a million times and this girl had been through so much.

13:40
I knew all this parent wanted was for her daughter to be happy.

13:43
And I was like, so, wait, but who’s, who said that?

13:47
I know mom didn’t say that.

13:48
, and she was like, because like, you, you have to, that’s what you do.

13:52
And so we had to get into that whole conversation of like, yes, if you want to travel, like, maybe money is a thing and that could be figured out and like, maybe we have to do something to get that.

14:01
But, but nobody is telling you that you can’t like if, if you wanna graduate and travel, you absolutely can do that.

14:10
You’re right.

14:11
That is the freedom of choice, right?

14:13
If you want to do something, you can totally do it.

14:16
The only thing that’s stopping you is your own belief and your limitation.

14:19
So tell me about can anxiety also be stemmed from the woman mirroring her mother or the woman mirroring her father’s emotions while growing up.

14:32
I’m talking about childhood trauma.

14:35
Yes, absolutely.

14:36
Like I said, I kind of rushed over it, but yes, it can definitely be embedded in childhood and, and in what’s normal, you know, like we, we see certain things and certain patterns and you see your mother, you know, working her butt off.

14:53
And that’s just what’s normal, you know, it’s not, it’s not really questioned.

14:59
So yeah, it, it is, it can be embedded in what you see and, and I say all the time a parent doesn’t have to tell you anything.

15:07
You just see how they act.

15:09
Right.

15:10
So, like your mom could tell you, your parents could tell you certain things you see how they behave and you’re a sponge and you see that and that’s embedded as normal.

15:19
Right?

15:20
So, you don’t have to have a parent tell you, you have to do this, you have to go to college, you have to do well, it, it could and it doesn’t even have to be tr it could be trauma, but it doesn’t have to be right.

15:30
Like it’s just going to a school where there’s a certain expectation living in a certain neighborhood where there’s a certain expectation.

15:38
So it, it doesn’t even necessarily have to be trauma as much as just what has been ingrained in for you to believe in from when you grew up.

15:49
So if the woman is already experiencing that her parents, one of them or both of them were anxious and now she’s mirroring that emotion in her life with all of her relationships.

16:02
What should we tell that woman that, hey, you know, see a similarity between you and your mom or see a similarity between you and your dad and then what are the next steps that she can take when she’s already feeling it?

16:15
That oh my goodness.

16:16
I’m doing the same shit that my mom did.

16:18
What should we tell her?

16:20
So, awareness is the first thing and I have to say, I think a lot of the people I work with, they come in pretty aware, you know, like they’re cognitively, they’re like, nice.

16:32
I know this makes no sense.

16:34
I know that I’m worried over nothing.

16:36
I know that this isn’t a big deal.

16:38
I know that like, I, I know that my mother is like this and this is why I’m acting this way and they very often know those things.

16:45
But like, it doesn’t necessarily help that like the anxiety is within them.

16:49
So when I work with people, one, it is that cognitive piece of breaking down, where is this coming from?

16:56
What is the reality?

16:57
And like, what are the barriers to getting there and how do we put those puzzle pieces together?

17:02
But it’s also, I know you said to be like mindfulness, it’s also being in the moment and regulating your body, right?

17:09
Because anxiety is something that’s there for us to protect us.

17:13
Like I like to educate an anxiety and and say that like it’s there for a reason at all times, our, our bodies and our minds are, are assessing for danger so that it can keep us safe.

17:25
It was back when you know, we had to like be careful of like the lions and like we had to, you know, scavenge for food.

17:31
It’s, it’s activated on purpose so that we’re safe.

17:34
But now it’s, it’s turned into something that’s activated when we’re more uncomfortable and scared of things that are not unsafe.

17:42
It’s just uncomfortable.

17:45
And so it’s honoring that anxiety and knowing that it’s there for a reason and not being mad at it or upset at it or frustrated with ourselves.

17:55
But just knowing how to react when we feel that it’s coming.

18:00
So tell us a little bit more about why is anxiety even there in the first place.

18:05
It’s a response again, it’s, it’s in a response that our brain has without getting like too brainy and science to, to protect us like something is activated in our brains to protect us.

18:18
And that’s what happens with the adrenaline, the cortisol, it all just starts pumping through our bodies and, and what I often tell people is that stuff will metabolize within like 1520 minutes.

18:30
So if you get anxious, sometimes it just happens, right?

18:33
Our bodies just have a physical reaction and we just become overwhelmed and we start hyperventilating and we’re stressed and sometimes we don’t know why, but that all will metabolize within 1520 minutes.

18:44
The problem is when we get scared of anxiety or panic and we stress about it, that signal keeps getting shot back into our brain that like we’re in danger, we’re scared, we have to protect ourselves.

18:56
We’re scared something bad is happening and it prolongs the anxiety and it prolongs the panic.

19:02
So when we’re able to get back into one knowing that we’re in a safe place and being able to cognitively talk to ourselves.

19:11
But also there’s different mindfulness techniques as well to like let our bodies calm down and get to a state where like literally our heart rate can go down and we can stop hyperventilating.

19:24
That’s often what I suggest is, is the combination of both those things because it is just a bodily response that sometimes we can’t control the on the outset, but we can control how we respond to it.

19:37
I love that you cannot control the, you know, the onset of it, but you can control how you respond to it.

19:44
So let’s say someone is experiencing anxiety right now at this moment, listening to this podcast, what should be the first step that they should do while they’re experiencing it?

19:55
Like, and I know there are different symptoms for different people.

19:59
So while they’re going through like, oh my God, I’m getting, you know, I’m getting chest pain or I’m getting panic attack or I’m getting whatever the symptom is.

20:07
First of all, let’s talk about symptoms and then what can they do?

20:12
So the first thing is to kind of name it, right?

20:15
So like I’m feeling like I’m having anxiety, I’m feeling like I’m having an anxiety attack because you are not your anxiety.

20:24
It is a separate thing that is happening.

20:27
So what it kind of detaches from it.

20:31
So this is what’s happening.

20:32
I know this is what’s happening.

20:34
I’m not in danger.

20:36
And so I, I actually have because people are so different as far as like what they gravitate towards.

20:42
So I have one, I have a specific like thought log that it has what triggered the onset, what my thoughts are like currently like, oh no, I’m having an anxiety attack.

20:55
I feel like something’s wrong because sometimes people medically are actually concerned and then the rational response.

21:01
So there is the cognitive piece and then I do have worksheets as far as deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation or and throwing things out, people might not know but like the following your senses to try to bring you back and ground you back into the moment.

21:19
And so I, I generally start off with giving tho those things to those people and them telling me what they gravitate towards and we go from there and we work from there on like what specific techniques.

21:31
But yeah, it’s a combination of the cognitive of one.

21:36
It’s the education of knowing that you’re safe and knowing that that’s what’s happening.

21:41
And knowing that you’re safe and knowing that it’s OK and that it will progress like it will, the metabolism will metabolize those things out of your body.

21:50
And just using those techniques in the meantime, to be able to settle your nervous system.

21:55
And let’s say someone does not even know that they have anxiety.

22:00
And what do you think in your practice?

22:03
Have you seen that?

22:04
It can, the anxiety if not taken care of can stir up what other illnesses in the body.

22:11
So it can, I actually, I wanna say it can also because this is something I deal with a lot can come out in other ways and they might not realize it’s anxiety so it could come out as anger.

22:24
Yeah, and it could come out and again, it’s, it could come out as my, I’ve had a lot of my stomach hurts.

22:31
You could feel like you have to pee a lot or do number two a lot.

22:36
But yeah, there’s a lot of different ways that it can come out in the body and, and I guess like medically, there’s ways to differentiate that to like medically make sure everything’s ok.

22:45
But it is important to know like I, I just had a client where they have O CD and they would go into these like really argumentative, not physically aggressive but like very agitated bouts of like badgering a family member to do certain things for them or to help them with something or saying you need to help me and they would, they would just kind of like verbally berate the family member.

23:10
And this is a very thoughtful, smart, one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met in my life.

23:17
and they were like, I don’t know what happens.

23:19
Like, I don’t even know what’s going on.

23:21
Like I, I know that I don’t need that in that moment, but something just activates within me.

23:26
And I was like, well, it sounds like you’re kind of having a panic attack, like, in a certain way, it sounds like you’re kind of having a panic attack and I would try to deal with it in that way, you know, that like you are so activated that you need this help at this moment and you feel so urgently that you need this at this moment that it’s causing this whole spiral within you.

23:46
Yeah, that if they don’t get the support from the family member, they feel like they’re not safe.

23:53
Yeah, and that they, and so that the other and I’ve done this a lot with parents and like support of others is is to have them see it that way, right?

24:01
Because if somebody is being like berating you or nasty or whatever, you’re gonna have a certain reaction to that and it’s not generally very nice or supportive or understanding, thoughtful.

24:11
And so when it’s explained that way also to the family member of, you know what this seems like this is coming from like severe anxiety in this moment.

24:21
This is what their coping skills are like.

24:24
This is what their plan is.

24:25
Can we try to support that?

24:27
It often is very helpful because when you get that negative reaction from the other person, it just cycles out of control and it spirals into a direction.

24:35
that is not helpful people in your life to know what’s happening is can be really powerful.

24:42
So they know how to help you.

24:44
Yeah.

24:45
So, so it’s like you’re helping the person who’s feeling anxious and then you’re also helping the family member to see it in a different light.

24:53
Don’t think that this woman is crazy but think like she’s going through something that makes total sense.

24:59
So tell us about why did you choose to become a therapist?

25:03
And what was your journey?

25:05
Tell us about your story.

25:06
Why did you choose to like, heal people, help them through the work that you’re doing in the world?

25:13
Well, you know what’s funny?

25:14
I used to hate this question.

25:16
So when I was in college, I started out as a nursing major.

25:22
and I it just came from like a helping thing and I did really like science and that’s still a part of like mental health in the brain that I enjoy.

25:29
But I, I realized after my freshman year, I was like, thinking about the clinical rotations that I would have to do in the hospital.

25:37
And I was like, oh, that thing I have to do.

25:40
I don’t want to do that.

25:41
And I was like, I don’t think that’s how I should feel about the thing that I’m like choosing to do with the rest of my life.

25:47
Like I don’t, I don’t think that’s good.

25:50
So I went to my advisor and I said that I wanted to switch to my major to undecided and I didn’t know what I was gonna do and he just randomly said, oh, well, some pe, a lot of people who switch out of nursing, switch into social work.

26:08
, and you really don’t where you’re at and especially right now you wouldn’t lose any time.

26:12
And I, I very fortunately had, I wouldn’t say with no trauma, but I, I had a fortunate enough childhood that I had no idea what a social worker was.

26:22
I’d never had to work with one.

26:24
I had a very limited understanding of what that even meant.

26:27
And then I looked into it and I was like, wow, I think that’s what I wanna do more like, I think that was the thing.

26:34
And I say that and I’m proud of that now because I think so many people, especially the people I work with feel so pressured on making a decision and having to make a choice and like figuring it all out.

26:46
And if you just like, live your life, like in the way that like you’re guided to do it, things will come to you.

26:54
And so I’m very grateful to that man who I do not know his name wouldn’t remember.

26:58
I wouldn’t know him if he ran into me on the street.

27:00
But, but no, it’s something that I think is really important, you know, to note that you know, your path can change.

27:07
And that’s ok.

27:07
You don’t have to feel so attached to different paths.

27:11
That that is really cool because there is this philosophy in yoga and one of the sects of yoga is that non attachment, which is if you are attached to something and it doesn’t work out, it’s ok to learn how to be non attached to that and then pivot pivot your path.

27:29
So my last question, colette is any tips on women that have anxiety?

27:38
We talked about that they’re high functioning, we talked about that and then they, what techniques or what tips can they start off with and what can they add to their to do list already of things that they’re already doing.

27:52
So it’s a little bit of what I’ve said.

27:54
I think one of the best things is to just be mindful of and I know as a yoga person but like be mindful in the moment and notice things in the moment of, of trying to bring yourself back into ground here, right?

28:11
So again, the first thing to me is the cognitive and just knowing that you’re gonna be safe and knowing that you’re gonna be ok if it’s like a panic situation.

28:20
But it’s as simple as I say that the easiest way is to go with your senses.

28:25
So if it’s noticing, what does it smell like in the air, what is my, what are my clothes feel like?

28:33
What is it that I hear?

28:35
What did I, what do I taste in my mouth?

28:37
Even if it’s like drinking water or like what I ate five, like an hour ago, you know, like what I, I say, the easiest way I think is to go with your senses.

28:47
And I, to me personally, and this is just personally if I can get outside, that’s very helpful and doing that outside.

28:55
But I think the easiest way is to just sit and you know, notice, what can I hear?

29:00
What can I see?

29:01
What, what do I taste?

29:02
What do I cut that kind of brings you back?

29:04
And I think a lot of people think that it’s for like distraction purposes and, and it can be to a point, but that’s not really the point.

29:12
It really is like if you are in an anxious state, your body is responding to that.

29:17
And so it gives your body time to actually like relax and have your heart rate go down and, and all of that stuff.

29:27
Thank you.

29:27
Thank you for sharing that.

29:28
So basically women, ladies listening, be aware of your senses and start cultivating awareness through mindfulness in your daily practice is what colette is suggesting.

29:40
So, colette, where can our women listeners contact you or find you?

29:47
So, I know how you found me Temple.

29:49
My Instagram is at colette Jones underscore L CS W.

29:55
My website is Colette Jones, L CS w dot com and you can kind of find what I do there.

30:03
And yeah, you can find me there.

30:05
Colette with Two L’s.

30:07
Yeah, and we are going to tie colette on our show notes for sure.

30:12
Colette.

30:12
It was a pleasure talking to you, speaking to you learning a lot about anxiety, especially in high functioning women.

30:18
Thank you so much for coming to our show.

30:21
Thank you so much for having me.

30:22
I really enjoyed it.

30:23
Thank you.

30:24
And for all of our listeners, always remember metamor not medication, Namaste for all of our listeners.

30:32
If you have any question and you really want the answers for it, then feel free to book a 20 minute free consultation with me.

30:40
And if you love this episode, then please give us a review on itunes.

30:45
Thank you so much and see you on another episode.